so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
