so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
