Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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