Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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