you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
