fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize