So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
