I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
