I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
