First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
