is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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