He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
