wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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