I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
