you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
