And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
