based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
