i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
