Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
