hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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