no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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