oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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