I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ok first of all what the fuck
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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