i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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