great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize