so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
