hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
