No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
