well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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