it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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