yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
