a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
