have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
