Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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