I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
