Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
