I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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