i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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