brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
