What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Success! We fucked roommates!
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