so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
