Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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