OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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