It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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