i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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