I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
