What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
