I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
