you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
