watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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