i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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