I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
