wat bout pragnant strippers??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
