Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
