Soap is not a condiment
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
