Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
