like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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