He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
