He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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