im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
