Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
